The Spark

 

I was reading a blog on http://kickitwithscott.wordpress.comabout men, relationships, and communication. It actually reminded me of a part of “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Don’t get me wrong, the blog was great, but the communication part sparked up this blog. In the movie, a guy tells the main girl that there is no such thing as the ‘spark’. That guys’ just made that up to make girls think that there was a reason to like them. And the girl, as gullible as she may be, believed it. Now I don’t know if guys believe that they made up the spark, or if they’re looking for that certain spark with a woman, but from my perspective, the spark is definitely true.

 

And this is how kickitwithscott helped me out. The spark is communication. It’s about personality, behavior, and communication skills. If a guy is a nice, happy, funny guy, he can usually portray pretty good behavioral skills by generally being polite, and good communication skills through jokes, laughter, and light hearted conversation. I’m sure many women relate to the theory of the spark. If a guy has a great smile, than that’s always favorable, but anything can make a girl forget that smile (like if he’d rather slap your ass than hold your hand). But if a guy has a great smile, and a sweet comment to follow than he’s probably worth sitting through the whole date (instead of texting your insurance policy…in my case my best friend calls me and says there’s an emergency- otherwise known as the mercy call). So thank you kickitwithscott, you’re right, communication is key, and to me, it’s key because I can see a guy’s personality to see if we click well together. If a guy doesn’t communicate, I’m outta there!

 

 

 

 

The Rejection

So have you ever had a few drinks, gone to a club and met a guy? Or maybe bumped into someone that you used to kind of date, but deemed them unworthy, and cut off? But perhaps on this night you had one too many, or went clubbing to meet someone on that particular night, and that’s the only person around? Well we’ve all been there at least once. So here’s how the night goes, you’ve had a few drinks and you’re in a good mood. You bump into that someone (or meet someone new), you catch up (or introduce yourselves), and while the liquor keeps pouring, you’re having the most fabulous night of your life, you think he’s incredible, and don’t understand why your girlfriends don’t think so too.

You have both danced the night away, and he was always attentive enough to get you that next drink. You exchange numbers, and look forward to the first flirtatious phone call that’s about to happen. The next day, you wake up with the worst hangover of your life, and replay the previous night through your head. Sure, you may be hungover, but at least you met a great guy. Your girlfriend calls you to run through a recap as well. She’s already uploaded the pics from last night, and is emailing them over. You’re excited to see that she capture pics of you and your new flame, and can’t wait to see the details of his face while you’re opening the attachments. As the picture loads, your smile fades. Now you understand why your girlfriends weren’t excited for you. Oh man, he’s ugly, and very badly dressed. Where did he get off acting like such a smooth talker last night? He looks like a loser.

Just as you’re telling yourself it’s ok, you don’t have to see him again, your phone rings. Shit, you gave him your phone number instead of taking his. Don’t answer, don’t answer. Man this guy just won’t hang up. He’s probably waiting for the machine. Ok it stopped ringing. Oh man he’s calling again. WTF?

You see, this is where men get a little desperate. Now even if it’s a guy who’s not ugly, and I thought was pretty attractive, I usually hate meeting completely random strangers, and tend to not answer the phone the next day, or ever again. I can’t stand the dating process. In “He’s Just not that Into You”, they showed a young girl being persistent, and wanting to stalk guys, but men do the same thing. I still have guys calling my phone from  a year ago. If the girl never answered the first time, or she did, said she’d call you back and didn’t, SHE”S NOT INTERESTED. I mean, Hitch was kind of right, a lot of us girls are always looking, but the difference between women and men, is that we know what we’re looking for. Most of us know exactly what kind of man that we want, and if you’re not it, we’re not answering.

So please, for you men out there, if she hasn’t answered the phone within the first week, she doesn’t want to talk to you. Don’t keep texting her once a day just to say hello, I mean she never responded in the first place to your phone call. She obviously doesn’t want to say hello. There’s no need to call, she has your phone number, and no she’s not just being shy. If a girl wanted to talk to you, she would when you call. Most of the time, when we really want a guy, we sit around, carry our phones everywhere, and wait for that call. Other than that, you’re being ignored my friend. This means you Shawn. Sorry. Good luck to the rest of you, hopefully you won’t meet weirdos like Shawn, Michael, or Shan.

The Crush

I’m taking it that a lot of you can relate to this. That special someone. Even if he doesn’t know it yet. It could be the hot guy on the 8th floor in your building, that dude that you always see at the copy machine in the office, or one of the guys that is a common friend to your best buds. And here we go with the crush. The crush is a horrible state to be in. Mostly because it has to be kept a secret. We build up all these flustering feelings and at the most, gossip about it to our girlfriends. I mean what’s the big deal. We know the only validation to those feelings would come from speaking to that special someone. Why do we feel all bottled up and scared to let someone know that we’re interested in them. I mean it has to be a compliment to them. I guess it’s the thought of being emotionally vulnerable. But have you ever noticed that when you have a crush on someone, it runs strong for a little while, you convince yourself that you’re in love and that this is meant to be, and when you don’t receive any response from the opposite sex (most likely because they have no clue that you like them), you slowly creep away, and give up. You may feel a little bummed out for a few days (especially if you see him with another chick), but eventually you find yourself a new crush and get all flared up again! But that’s where the question lies. If we can deal with the self-rejection that we create (by not telling them that we’re interested), why are we so scared to tell that someone that we like them. I mean, we’ve already set ourselves up for some form of rejection. Is it such a big deal if it comes out of his mouth? I don’t think so. And remember everyone, you have nooooo clue what that person is thinking. They could be thinking the same thing you are…therefore they too, are most likely setting themselves up for rejection. So go for it, tell them, don’t be scared (unless you’re already in a relationship). Who knows, the two of you may be very happy together someday!